Tip of the Week: Compare Less

Our brains are hard-wired to compare ourselves to others. But in the words of Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy”.

In the social media age, the thief is everywhere. We compare a lot - our abilities, looks, social lives, jobs, homes,vacations. For students, tack on grades and college admissions. You name it, we compare it.

Not only do we compare ourselves a lot, the worst part is that our brains get it wrong.

Studies show that we consistently overestimate the good things in other people’s lives and underestimate the things they’re struggling with. This is because we live our own blooper reel and tend to only see other people’s highlight reel.

All this constant - and false - comparison takes a toll on our well-being.

So how do we stop comparing so much?

#1. Catch yourself

Notice when you’re comparing.

That’s it. And don’t judge yourself. Remember it’s how we’re wired.

The simple act of noticing when you’re feeling less than (or more than) another person reduces the impact of thecomparison and, over time, helps you do it less.

#2. Check your feed

Diversify your social media reference points. Make sure your feed is not full of people with perfect hair, perfect homes, perfect grades, perfect vacations, etc.

Remind yourself you’re seeing highlight reels, not real reels.

Spend less time on social media. Set a daily limit for yourself using screen time settings - even if you override it, you’ll be more aware of the time you’re spending.

Level up… challenge yourself to a 3 day detox and see how you feel afterwards. Do it with a friend!

Want to learn more?

How to Help Teens Stop Comparing Themselves to Others on Social Media, APA

15 Ways to Stop Social Comparison, Psychology Today

The Problem of Social Comparison, Science of Well-Being for Teens

How We Can Deal with Social Comparison,  Science of Well-Being for Teens